Charlie Sheen is in the Hospital for a Hiatal Hernia (By Which I Mean He Snorted Cocaine for 36 Hours Straight)
Yeah, what the headline says. According to TMZ:
A hiatal hernia in his stomach not an overdose triggered the 911 call that landed Charlie in the hospital [early this morning].
The hernia located in Charlies stomach causes acid and food to back up into the esophagus, [causing] horrible, horrendous pain.
Charlie will spend the night at the hospital.
So then this had nothing to do with it, then:
Charlie Sheen had a briefcase full of cocaine delivered to his home and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital.
Sheen had 2 porn stars and several other women inside his home during the [two-day party] that started Tuesday night.
God knows you arent doing anything with your dick after downing a briefcase full of blow and two days worth of booze, so what the hell was he doing those last few hours? Oh, right this:
[After] smoking cocaine continuously for hours, Charlie ended up in his theater room with one of the porn stars with whom he was partying. They watched 3 hours of porn as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen.
Charlie himself as a porn connoisseur. Were told the porn star was surprised by the depth of Charlies knowledge.
You know, theres a reason Grandma doesnt snowboard and Superman isnt a 55-year old man with full-blown cirrhosis. Charlie Sheen is too fucking old for this kind of shit. His liver cant take much more. At this point, its got to be the size of a dam! n halibu t. And its probably the same color and with almost as many teeth.
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