Quickies: Friends in Low Places

Sandra Bullock shows off her new bangs, but denies banging Ryan Reynolds. See what I did there? (Celebitchy)

Note to Jennifer Love Hewitt: white and satin are NOT your friends. (Hollywood Rag)

Paz de la Huerta got so wasted at the Golden Globes that her tits fell out and she was denied entry to an after party. Bitch knows how to party. (Celebs)

Kate Beckinsale is blonde now! Why, God? Why? (Moe Jackson)

Look! Its the less-rode-hard-and-put-up-wet Coco! (The Dirty)

Sasha Grey has very small boobies. Yet people like her. Maybe it has something to do with all that anal shes always doing. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Robert Pattinson kissing Reese Witherspoon and only vomiting on three of the takes! (Socialite Life)

Christina Aguilera tries to hide her fatness with lace and Spanx. She fails. (UseMyComputer)

Scarlett Johansson gets her bubbly on f! or Moet. (CityRag)

Do we have the right to know if Kevin Spacey likes it in the pooper? Well, of course we do. I assume they were just being facetious. (College Candy)

The only two Golden Globes speeches you needed to see. Other than everything else Ricky Gervais said, I mean. (Jezebel)

Kate Moss gives PETA the finger. And then pelts them with metaphorical mink carcasses. (INF Daily)

Justin Bieber got beat up by Demi Lovato, and only injured one of his labia! Docs warn it could have been much worse. (Celeb Jihad)

Leighton Meester has the common sense to show off her tits at the Art of Elysium soiree. Too bad she forgot at the Golden Globes. (Celeb Slam)

Heidi Montag turned down Dancing with the Stars! I guess it wasnt shameless and degrading enough for her tastes. (The Blemish)

Did I mention Im a neck model? Because Im a neck model now. (Twin Beeches)

Lil Kim gives camel toe a whole new terrifying meaning. Somebody hold me. (Holy Moly)

Kelly Osbournes ex-fiance had an affair with wait for it a pre-! op trans sexual. In his defense, Id probably fuck a tranny before Id fuck her, too. (Right Celebrity)

Anne Hathaway to play a lesbian on Glee! Nope, still wont be watching. (Pop Crunch)

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