Quickies: Head Scratcher

Regis Philbin is retiring! But will they ever find another geriatric nasally-voiced sentence yeller to fill his orthopedic shoes? (Gabby Babble)

Jennifer Lopez is wearing more makeup than Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria combined. (Hollywood Rag)

Elton John and his main gay reveal the first photos of their test tube baby! (Bitten and Bound)

Cheerleader of the BCS National Championship: Oregon vs Auburn! (COED Magazine)

Asians say Hayden Panettieres rice hat nipples are just in bad taste. I personally cant say, because nobody would let me close enough to taste them. (The Grumpiest)

Scarlett Johansson and Sandra Bullock kiss and makeup literally. (Holy Moly!)

Christina Hendricks smuggles diamonds in her cleavage. Of course she does. She probably has a revolver and a stack of twenties in there, too. (Celebitchy)

Izabella Miko to play the female version of The Joker, The Jokestress! (Moe Jackson)

Amy Winehouse still performs drunk. (Allie is Wired)

Bombshell McGee tries to stay relevant by tonguing a picture of Sandra Bullock. You stay classy, San Diego. (Bricks and Stones)

Believe it or not, The Green Hornet is a surprisingly fun ride. Being high as shit helps. (Pajiba)

Robert Pattinson goes ginger! Im not overweight or alone, so I dont really care. (Agent Bedhead)

Steven Tyler looks like a sixty-year old socialite boozebag with a botched facelift. Is that you, Grandma? (Seriously? OMG)

Jennifer Lopez new song blows chunks. (omg blog)

Howard Stern accuses Jay Leno of stealing jokes, which would be a serious accusation if Jay Leno were ever remotely funny. (Gone Hollywood)

January Jones dumps her SNL boyfriend. In her defense, have you seen the last two seasons? (Anything Hollywood)

Michelle Keegan has some bikini fun without me. (GCeleb)

David Hasselhoff lifts his kilt and the whole world screams in anguish and revulsion. (Socialite Life)

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